


Bokuaka: I Love You

by oikawasfavoritebitch



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi is OBLIVIOUS, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kenma is a good friend, M/M, bokuto cooks for akaashi, bokuto likes making tea for akaashi, brief mentions of a panic attack, unhealthy coping habits, weight loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawasfavoritebitch/pseuds/oikawasfavoritebitch
Summary: Akaashi realizes he loves Bokuto and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 70





	Bokuaka: I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I have a tumbler where this is also posted and I will update on my tumbler about my other story as well which is called ‘Fires may burn all around us, but I’m always here for you’  
> Please don’t repost anywhere.  
> My Tumblr: oikawasnumberonebitch

Ever since Akaashi graduated from Fukorodani and moved in with Bokuto he has realized two things one is that Bokuto is much messier than he had ever imagined and two that he was very very gay. He had come to this realization when he saw Bokuto exiting the shower after one of his away games, he was dripping wet and his body must have been sculpted by Michelangelo himself from how perfect he was.

Once Bokuto noticed Akaashi staring he was hesitant to make a joke from how flustered Akaashi looked. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was attracted to him or if he was just embarrassed. He decided on the latter and his mouth slowly quirked into a grin that Akaashi would have noticed was fake if his focus wasn’t centered on the silver-haired man’s abdomen.  
“See something you like Akaashi?” Bokuto asked smugly. Akaashi was almost too distracted to hear and was disappointed when he had to tear his eyes away from the gorgeous man in front of him, but remembered that he has yet to answer Bokuto.

“Go get dressed Bokuto-San.” Akaashi had his face turned away while responding fearing that since his face was feeling hot, he would have a visible blush. 

Bokuto walked away, his grin fading into a thin line of displeasure. While putting pants on he realizes that he didn’t mind Akaashi looking all that much he would have liked for him to stare more. Meanwhile, Akaashi quickly ran into his room and slammed the door violently, sliding down the wooden wall of sorts, with his burning face in his hands. He was mortified that he had ogled Bokuto, in front of the man himself he was probably going to have to move out and stay back at his parent’s house and drop out of college entirely.

Later into the week, Akaashi began avoiding Bokuto, they hadn’t communicated once since the shower incident and the only times they had seen each other were in the mornings and occasionally in the library because beyond all other speculation Bokuto needed to keep his grades up to be able to continue to play volleyball. 

However, no matter how good a job Akaashi might have been doing at avoiding Bokuto, the man, in no better words, was a bloodhound. He began walking Akaashi to class, well more like following and running after him, they wouldn’t even talk during this exchange, and when Bokuto managed to catch Akaashi after the end of his classes he would convince (harass) Akaashi to eat lunch with him and Kuroo. 

There were days when Akaashi was able to slip away from Bokuto’s lunch invitations and would sneak onto the rooftop to eat the bento that Bokuto would always make for him. Akaashi never had the heart to tell Bokuto that he bought his food at the cafeteria because the owl-like man had seemed so proud of his creation that Akaashi decided to indulge Bokuto’s cooking and it wasn’t like it tasted awful, it wasn’t the best bento there ever was, but to Akaashi it was perfect as sappy as that sounds.

Akaashi would usually eat lunch with Kenma and sometimes Oikawa would join them, He was content with his situation and repressed the feeling of loneliness the crept up whenever he saw Kenma and Kuroo hug in the hallways because Kenma wasn’t comfortable with public affection and Kuroo always respected the dual haired boy or the fact that whenever Oikawa saw Iwaizumi in the hallway he would always jump on Iwaizumi’s back and without fail Iwaizumi would catch Oikawa every single time, granted not without a smack to the head or back and a lecture that always went in one ear and out the other with Oikawa. 

Akaashi was fine with the fact that he would never be able to hold hands with Bokuto and walk down to a lesser-known coffee shop to get hot chocolate for their other hands to hold because it was cold that day. He was fine with the fact that he would never be able to hug Bokuto with all his heart because he needed some support that day. After all, that was weird and friends don’t do that. He was fine with the undeniable truth that he would never be able to kiss Bokuto with all the love he feels toward the always enthusiastic boy with a heart of gold because Bokuto is straight and he likes girls and while he might not be homophobic he didn’t want to ruin the friendship that he was already so sure is doomed to fail because he doesn’t know if when Bokuto gets married he will be able to be the best man standing by his side while some unknown woman kisses him and they proclaim that they will never part as they are soulmates.  
So Akaashi revels in the fact that Bokuto currently doesn’t have a girlfriend, but self-destructs at the chance of Bokuto marrying one. With the last thought, a tear drips from Akaashi’s eye and then another one and then another one until he’s silently crying from his bottled love for his best friend. In the meantime, Bokuto is looking around for Akaashi because he knows something is wrong. After all, it’s been a week and it’s their movie night tonight and Bokuto needs his sense of normalcy and grounding today because he has an away game tomorrow and he needs Akaashi to comfort his frying nerves. 

Lady Luck must be on his side because he finds Kenma and asks him where Akaashi is and Kenma nods his head at the rooftop entrance and Bokuto’s eyes widen and he slowly grins. He runs up the stairs in record time and slams the door open, thanking his coach for making him do squats and lunges all the time.

Akaashi curses Kenma as he already knows it’s Bokuto because no one, but he would slam a door that he doesn’t own open like that. He wipes his eyes and realizes that they are probably red and there’s no use in hiding them at this point because Bokuto will notice that something is wrong like always. 

“HEY HEY HEY, AGAASHI!” Bokuto practically yells and when Akaashi turns around his heart drops because Akaashi’s eyes are red-rimmed, and that means something made him cry. So Bokuto slowly walks forward and when he stands in front of the shorter boy, Akaashi won’t look at him so he brings his rough hand to Akaashi’s face and tilts his head upwards so he would be looking into Akaashi’s eyes.

“What happened?” He asks softly and Akaashi’s eyes widen and he internally panics because the last time Bokuto had talked softly was when Akaashi’s parents almost kicked him out for being gay and Bokuto let him stay over and comforted him. His hands were shaking and his nails were digging into his palms. 

“Nothing Bokuto-san.” He lies, but it’s everything, it’s the numb feeling in his gut that he will never be able to love and be loved by Bokuto in the way he wants to, it’s the concerned twinkle in his eyes that makes Akashi’s heart melt knowing that Bokuto truly cares for him, and it’s the stab to his heart that he knows that no matter what he does he will never be enough for Bokuto.

“You’re lying.” He says it so simply, with all the confidence in the world. ‘You have no right!’ Akaashi thinks, ‘he doesn’t get to be worried about me not when he knows deep down what’s wrong.’ 

“Akaashi tell me what’s wrong, if I don’t know what’s wrong, I can’t help you.” He almost pleads and it breaks his heart that Akaashi looks so numb.

“Nothing is wrong Bokuto-san, now excuse me I have to get to my next class.” It takes all of his strength to keep his voice steady. Yet he still won’t look Bokuto in the eye, he quickly walks away, but before he can get more than six feet from Bokuto, he gets pulled back by Bokuto’s pleading voice, ”Keiji, what’s wrong, please?” Akaashi’s eyes widen at the use of his given name, Bokuto hadn’t used that name in a long time, the thought scares him. So for the first time in Akaashi’s life, he runs away from Bokuto.

Bokuto stares at the door hoping that it will swing back open and Akaashi would tell him, ‘It’s just a prank Bokuto-san’, but he knows that’s not true because of the sheer desperation to run away that was so clear in Akaashi’s eyes so he sighs knowing that he has a class to get to as well and unfortunately it’s not with Akaashi.

Two days had passed since Akaashi ran away from Bokuto and both parties were very unhappy with their situation. Bokuto stopped spiking with enthusiasm and more with anger and frustration and everyone noticed. Akaashi was no better; he buried himself in his studies and had started sleeping in the library, forgetting about food, but thankfully not hygiene. Kuroo and Kenma were worried about their respective friends, Kenma was aware of how it was almost hypocritical that he was telling Akaashi to eat and sleep more than a few hours a night when he used to do the same, but Akaashi wasn’t accustomed to it like he was. 

Kuroo had no luck either because Bokuto’s slumps were getting worse and the coaches were confused because while Bokuto was still making his shots and serves, he wasn’t uplifting the team as he used to and he wasn’t playing with good sportsmanship, but rather a cutthroat attitude that just didn’t fit him.

No one knew what to do because he and Akaashi were like two halves of a whole and right now both halves were crumbling. When the mark hit two weeks Akaashi broke down in tears while in the library while sitting across from Kenma he was so empty without the constant Bokuto was. Kenma was shocked because this was the second time he had seen Akaashi cry and the first time was only a few tears. This was something else and it terrified Kenma. So he just held Akaashi until 30 minutes had passed and Kuroo had found them and he was still sobbing and hyperventilating. 

‘Get Bokuto’ Kenma mouthed a Kuroo, who nodded and ran off. Meanwhile, Bokuto was in their apartment going at his punching bag when the bag tore and sand spilled out, at the same time Kuroo unlocked the apartment and found Bokuto and the torn punching bag. Kuroo was shocked and worried but remembered that this was not the time.  
“Akaashi is crying, right now,” Kuroo informed. Bokuto froze.

“Where?” he asked with a slight snarl.

“Library.” That was all Bokuto needed to run out of the apartment. He ran across the campus in less than five minutes, and quietly opened the door. He jogged up to the second floor and found Akaashi still crying in Kenma’s arms. Bokuto gestured for Kenma to let him pick Akaashi up and hesitantly walked toward Akaashi whose face was buried in his hands and in the fetal position. Kenma slowly brought his hands to his sides and whispered good luck to Bokuto who nodded.

“Hey Keiji, I need you to stand up.” Bokuto was right in front of Akaashi now with his hands ready to help. Akaashi crying lessened, but tears were still streaming down his face. Akaashi unhooked his hands from around his knees and used the walls he was leaning on for support. When he was able to stand Bokuto picked Akaashi up and held him by his thighs and Akaashi instinctively wrapped his legs around Bokuto’s waist. It was at that moment that Bokuto realized how light Akaashi was, his weight was toeing the line between healthy and malnutrition. 

“Keiji, I’m going to carry you home now okay?” Akaashi nodded his voice too raw to respond and Bokuto’s shirt was drenched with tears, but he didn’t mind because Akaashi responded to him and that’s all that matters. 

When they got home Bokuto set Akaashi down on his bed because while Bokuto was carrying the underweight boy he fell asleep. Bokuto picked out some of his clothes and when he took off Akaashi’s shirt he nearly cried he could see his ribs. He left Akaashi’s boxers on and just changed his pants, then left to go make some of Akaashi’s favorite tea and cookies.  
An hour later Akaashi woke up and his head was pounding, he left to go to the kitchen before he realized where he was and freaked out.

His mind was working overtime and almost fried his brain with questions when Bokuto walked into the room and was surprised to find Akaashi awake and gestured for Akaashi to come over before he handed him a cup of oolong tea. Bokuto was smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes and they walked over to the couch.

“We don’t have to talk about it, but I already think I know what’s wrong.” Bokuto broke the silence and Akaashi almost went into shock. 

“Kenma confirmed my suspicion, but I need you to confirm it as well, do you like me?” Akaashi’s brain failed him, he didn’t know how to respond to what he was supposed to say yes I do, but Kenma was only partially correct because I don’t just like you, I love you.

“Yes, but look I’ll get it over it we can go back to normal, or we can avoid each other, and then I can move out when I’m financially stable enough, and then-” Akaashi was cut off by Bokuto’s lips on his own and was finally sure he went into cardiac arrest. When Akaashi realizes that Bokuto is kissing him he pushes him away.

“What are you doing you’re straight!” Akaashi says it with such a panic that it makes Bokuto think ‘Did he seriously think I was straight all this time?’ He laughs at the thought and that confuses Akaashi who is currently dying.

No offence Akaashi, but did you seriously think I was straight?” Bokuto asks, choking on laughter. 

“You never told me that you weren’t!” Akaashi almost screams from frustration. Bokuto is practically rolling on the floor. 

“Akaashi when I found you in the park when you ran away from home, I told you that being gay is completely normal and you asked how I knew that and I said because I am gay.” He struggled with forming that sentence from how much he was laughing.  
“I thought you just said that to make me feel better…” Akaashi trails off. That’s when Bokuto stops laughing. 

“Akaashi I couldn’t lie to you about being gay becuase I am in love with you and have been since highschool.” Bokuto out right declared he was in love with Akaashi and he meant it too, he wants to faint. Akaashi pulled the collar of Bokuto’s shirt to him and kissed him with such a fire, Prometheus would be jealous.

“I love you.” Akaashi says.  
“I love you too.” Bokuto means it.


End file.
